In Stairwell #2

I am part of a very select (read minuscule) group of people in my office building who actually use the stairs. Evidently stair climbing ranks low as a popular past times in dear ol' San Antonio. Not too surprising considering that in 2008 Men's Fitness ranked SA the third Fattest City in America.

Now because Texas loves to celebrate any and all victories, I would like to be fair to the other great cities that are avidly applying the "bigger is better" philosophy... "Six of the 10 Fattest cities in the land hail from Lone Star land: No. 2 Arlington, No. 3 San Antonio, No. 4 Fort Worth, No. 5 El Paso, No. 6 Dallas, and No. 10 Houston."

Wowsers! Thanks Men's Fitness for the downer.

Let me retrace my steps (horrible pun intended). Before the summer heat wave (that started in spring), I climbed the 9 flights to my cubicle at least once a day. On my daily trek, I passed the same cockroach carcass on the same stair. It was just me and the dead roach. One day I was completely shocked because I actually saw another human in the stairwell. He seemed quite surprised to see me and as I passed he wheezed, "It's good to see someone else using the stairs. (gasp) Now I know if I have a heart attack (gasp) in here someone will eventually find my body." Moving from carcasses to corpses - very reassuring.

However, it's not all death and despair in the stairwells. At the end of most days, I take a different stairwell so that I can have my daily chuckle. On my final flight I come across a web of plumbing (pictured above) with little hanging placards, my favorite of which reads, "Main Drain."

I am a huge Joe vs. the Volcano fan. If you haven't seen it, you now have homework. If you have, but can't remember the Main Drain scene from Joe's hideous job where the fluorescent lights are "Suck, Suck, Sucking" his life away... you also have homework. If you know exactly what I'm talking about and can quote every blessed word, kudos. You have optional extra credit--watch Joe again for the sheer joy of it and remember, "I know he can get the job, but can he do the job," from the wise lips of Mr. Watori.

You'll find me chuckling to myself in the stairwell.