Several months ago, my co-worker Candy exclaimed, "What the French Toast?!" I looked at her quizzically and she pointed me to this Orbit gum commercial (it is well worth 30 seconds of your life). This got me thinking about what non-profane substitutes I have used in the past. I've also started a collection from friends.When seeking cursing alternatives, think retro:
Curses, Batman!
Suffering Succotash!
Tarnation!
Egads!
Criminy!
Gee Whiz!
Bloody hell!
Don't forget Shakespeare:
I bite my thumb at you, sir! (The sir is optional:)
Taffeta Punk!
Toads, beetles, bats!
A pox upon thee! (Just so you know, you are wishing death by small pox or syphilis upon the receiver of this little gem! Ouch!)
Create your own/the inside joke option:
When creating your own curses, make sure they have the right sound when exclaimed and that they are fun to say. Many times the whole reason to curse is to let off steam. Lots of hard consonants can be particularly satisfying.
Goram! (Firefly TV series)
Shostakovich (Mindy's college days, I hung out with a lot of music majors. Just try it!)
Hovering Sausages! (Mindy's work, I never said they had to make sense people!)
Some other favorites:
Mother Scooter!
Shut the Front Door!
Frickin' Frack!
Son of a Biscuit Eater!
H-E-double hockey sticks!
Orbit and Mindy... working together to make dirty mouths clean. If you are feeling a bit blue or lethargic, I recommend reading through this list with feeling. Wakes ya right up, every time. Happy non-cussing and please share more favorites!
